June - Part 2

Just over 48 hours into my "True Romance" moment and it's changed. It hasn't changed into a "Fatal Attraction" moment or anything, but it has changed.

One of the things June and I had talked about was our love of the hidden track at the end of the Alanis Morrissette album "Jagged Little Pill". I think it's called "Your House". Apparently, she thought it would be cute to act out the song, minus the note from another woman.

I was supposed to come home and find her naked in my bed covered in Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Drizzle. Don't judge. I'm not a freak, but I love Reece's and if a beautiful woman wants to cover herself in anything Reece's, don't call me Sabrina because I'm not just going to stare at it, I'm going to eat it.

This is not what happened.

She hasn't met the roomies or become acquainted with their schedules and coming and goings. She does know mine so she gets to the house, knowing she'll have enough time to prepare before I get home from work. Chris had apparently taken the wee baby on a walk to the in-laws, they just live a couple of blocks away, to drop her for an hour or so while he borrowed the lawn mower.

June shows up expecting a roomie to answer the door, but instead she finds an unlocked and empty house.

As she is getting things going with my music and cologne and robe, Chris gets back and starts mowing the yard. She just thinks he's the yard guy. This part confuses me because I've never seen a yard guy wearing a black trucker hat with the bill turned up that reads "Classy As Fuck" with a a t-shirt that reads "I Get Drunk And Fuck Shit Up" with cutoffs and combat boots, but I won't hold it against her since she hadn't met Chris yet.

While the yard work is happening she makes it to the shower part of the song, minus the salt.

That's when Chris finished the yard and came into the house for a Corona before taking back the lawn mower.

I think you might know where this is going.

"Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned"...well change that to "Scared" or "Startled" and make it a 5 foot 4, 120 pound red head who was the youngest of five and the older 4 were boys and she's wearing nothing but my robe.

The neighbors behind us called the cops after the two of them smashed thru a patio door into the backyard.

So, I came home to a half dozen cop cars, three animal control units and two ambulances in front of my house.

Buster still has not been found, sorry Jenna.

I'm currently sitting at the hospital with the Elle and Jessica Doppelgänger's waiting for June to be released. She needed a few stitches and by a few I mean 43. I can't wait to tell the story of how she got them to our grandkids.

I hope you've had a Thursday that was adventurous as mine. If not, get a life.