Fast Forward

Fast Forward

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

Where is the remote control?

The one that I need for this movie I call my life

It should win awards in every category

I have drama and tragedy

I have romance and comedy

There’s even suspense and thrills

All the best bits have you in them

I wish I could pause it when I make you smile

I wish I could rewind it when I make you cry

I wish I could fast forward past the heartache

I wish I could just hit “stop” when we fight

The soundtrack is perfect

It always sets the mood

It helps capture and accentuate the yelling and the laughing

The lighting is spot on

Coming up at the right time to illuminate your eyes

Going down at the intimate times

The editing needs some work

I want to start at the end

Tell my story from my funeral

Then I would know how things work for us

Cut out the fights and the tears

Remove the break up

Just keep the best bits

But then it wouldn’t be real

You have to have sadness and anger

You must keep the anguish and loneliness in there

Otherwise nobody would watch it

February

February

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

Two feet of snow

Ten lazy days of house arrest

Spent learning about six years of anatomy

A child’s laughter is accompanied

By paw prints on the floor

The snow melts

And takes love with it

Happy fucking Valentine’s Day

The sky falls and the car won’t start

Seventeen months of memories

And 200 pounds

Stuffed in a money pit

Sofa surfing and soul searching

While looking for a way back home

Forever is gone forever

And “never” becomes a common word

And replaces “love” in the dialogue

Troubles are discovered

Just a little late

In conversations that are had without voices

Then the last day of the month arrives

As the day comes to an end

It takes the hopes

And dreams

And belief

And faith

Of a sappy sad bastard hopeless romantic

Thursday

Thursday

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

The last date

Just another failed attempt

Just another on a long list

This is getting old

Relationship after relationship

I’m a failure

What’s wrong with me?

Am I undateable?

Time for a break

I need a drink

I need some football in my life

I need my friends

A lonely heart at the bar

The right question is asked

A conversation starts

Shouting at each other

Fighting to be heard

All the right things are being said

Cautious

The events of the day still very fresh

Not ready for another relationship

The band stops playing

The bar gets quiet

The conversation won’t stop

I don’t want it to

Trying to imagine what you look like in the morning

Alarms are going off

Interest is increasing

The bar closes

Breakfast at 2:00 AM

Tread softly

On dangerous ground

I’ve seen this a dozen times in my head

And I’ve been thinking about this moment

For the past 6 hours

I’ve lost the war

I’m giving in

The reality of the moment

Is so much better than I imagined

Sunrise

The beer goggles have worn off

Still just as beautiful as the night before

Effortless beauty

The last nail in the coffin

I’m yours now

Hoping this one is different

I'm Thinking of Becoming a Televangelist

I’m Thinking of Becoming a Televangelist

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

This business blows

This looking for someone

Who is supposed to exist

But nobody has seen

Oh

That again?

Yes

Fuck you!

I’m always looking for that

The ultimate missing person

The theoretical “Other”

The “Soulmate”

They say, “Love looks not with the eyes

But the mind”

Bullshit

They say, “Cupid is blind”

More bullshit

Love

Jazz

Sex

Your heartbeat

Your soul

Close your eyes

I will show you my secret self

And you are going to love me

Your search will end with me

Will mine end with you?

I’m a missing person to someone

Am I your heart?

You could be mine

Am I your one true love?

What if you are mine?

Love

We know it exists

We can feel it

But we’ve never seen it

Kind of like $1,000,000

Kind of like God

God is the Wizard of Oz

He is the man behind the curtain

Ask for a brain

Ask for a heart

Ask for courage

Ask to go home

That’s how you find love

Center of the Universe

Center of the Universe

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

You’re the center of the universe

You’re the sun

The brightest star

A source of heat

And a source of light

Your gravitational pull

Keeps the planets

And other stars in motion

Revolving around you

Always at risk

Of a solar flare

That could bring an end

To life as we know it

I feel like Pluto

Not a planet

Not a star

A lump of rock

Floating thru space

In orbit around you

Like the rest of the universe

Light years away

And ill equipped

With the wrong type of telescope

To view you

Without burning my eyes

And you burn too hot

For me to get close

Without melting

You are

The center of the universe