Day 3

Day 3

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

I don’t want to cause any drama

I hope you have a great day

I’m thinking about you

Missing your kisses

I hope to hear from you

I didn’t mean to bug you

I don’t want to bug you

I’m going to back off a bit

I feel bad about sending you messages

And calling you

You have yet to call me

I really don’t want to bug you

Or annoy you

Or push you away

So I’m going to back off

If you want to see me

You will call me

Let me know when you want to see me

I’m sorry

I didn’t mean to come on strong

I like you

I want to get to know you

I don’t want to bug you

I don’t want to seem like a crazy person

Or a stalker

Hopefully you will say something

Something to relieve my fears

I am really sorry

Sorry for doing something

To make you not want to call

I like you

My mind needs to stop reeling

I hope to see you

I just like you

I apologize

I never get like this

It’s making my mind reel

Sorry

Mental Collapse

Mental Collapse

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

The threat

Of a mental collapse

Is very real

I

Can’t

Deal

With

You

Anymore

Are your feelings genuine

Or are you just playing games

Do you know what you want

And are so desperate to get it

And that explains your behavior

Or do you not have a clue

And that’s why you act the way you do

The contradictions

And inconsistency

Is killing me

I’m tired of the fighting

Over petty things

That really don’t matter

What are you afraid of

That makes you do the things you do

Why do you feel the need

To hide things from me

Do you think

That if I know what you’ve done

And who you’ve done it with

And how many times

That I won’t want you

I

Don’t

Care

I forgive and forget

Well

I forgive

In time

I will forget

Can you do that

Can you just love me for me

The way I love you for you

Or do you keep trying to put me down

Like a verbal punching bag

Only time will tell

And tomorrow

It waits for no one

Rockstar Lollipop

Rockstar Lollipop

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

You look so cute

In your black corduroy Newsie hat

Short cropped brown hair

Brown eyes

Nose ring

Knee high black boots

Black leggings

Black mini-skirt

Plain white deep-V t-shirt

You offer me a lollipop

And a shot of Vodka

We exchange names

You’re a musician

I’m a music lover

You start naming bands

I say I’ve heard of them

But never heard them

Even though I haven’t

I can use this later

My iPod needs new music

It will be a good excuse

An excuse to get you alone and naked

You ask about my tattoos

I ask if you have any

You tell me about the 7 stars on your back

The ones that run down your spine

I tell you I’m laid back

That I’m not looking for anything

You tell me you’re a classy woman

Then you tell me you like it doggystyle

So when the guy pulls out

He can shoot for the stars

That’s why you have the tattoo on your back

We go back to my place

I put it to the test

And I shoot for the stars

I wake up alone

And never see you again

But I will always remember

My Rockstar Lollipop

The First 48

The First 48

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

Sorry I called you twice today

I hope I didn’t scare you away

I’m not going to lie

Last night has been on my mind all day

I could taste your kisses throughout the day

I’m not trying to be pushy

I just think we have a lot in common

I want to get to know you

As a person, friend and more

I wasn’t looking for someone last night

Talking for 5 hours

Fantastic, hot, intense, passionate sex

Sleeping so comfortable next to you after

I thought I would sleep alone again last night

I’m not the type of person

Who just assumes that you’re together

After you sleep with someone

I don’t think like that

We seemed to click though

I want to get to know you

I think it could be something good

I wasn’t looking for anything

I’m always open to see what happens with someone

I just want to spend time hanging out

You are a really good kisser

I want more of those

I need to stop thinking about you

Our conversation has been reeling in my mind

Your eyes

I get lost in them

That smile

It’s a great smile

I just want you to know

That I’m not desperate

I rarely sleep with someone the first night meeting them

I don’t want to have ruined the chance

The chance to get to know you

I don’t want to come across like a want to marry you

Or I’m obsessed

Or I’m desperate

The person you talked to for 5 hours

And hung out with

And slept next to

That’s the real me

Sleeping with you was great

I would have been content just cuddling

And falling asleep in your arms

I want something that’s deep

I want something with substance

I’m the laid back type

I haven’t met someone

Someone like you

In a long time

I haven’t had a conversation

Like the one we had

In a long time

I really like the way you kissed me

No one has treated me the way you do

Your little “just because” kisses

They are so sweet

I’m not used to that

I’ve always wanted it

I like holding your hand

I like when you look me in the eyes

The windows to my soul

The way you look at me

What do you see?

Our hands just fit together

We have a lot in common

We have great conversation

I know we’ve only known each other for two days

I want to give “us” a chance

See what happens

I look forward to seeing you again

Pushing Buttons

Pushing Buttons

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

You push my buttons

Like a secretary

Who types 120 words a minute

Every key on the keyboard

Has a different function

They are being pressed so fast

That I’ve lost control of my thoughts and words

You treat our friendship

Like a call center rep.

Treats the last call of the day

All you want to do is go home

Drink a mug of wine

Watch the DIY Channel

So you give me just enough help

To keep me from taking my business elsewhere

And you stick to the corporate script

When it comes to the big questions

Which means I get no real answers

I’m like a too loyal dog

With a shock collar

And you have the button

As well as an underground perimeter fence

It’s not to keep me from getting out

It’s to keep me from getting in

My love is like the perfect house

In the perfect location

But you have to rent

And you’re the absentee landlord

Who answers just enough phone calls

And puts forth just enough effort

To help get rid of the fleas

So I won’t move

My soul, my spirit

My faith, my belief

Are the stone

That falls out of an engagement ring

Lost in the falling leaves

Of the Autumn of our love

My heart

Is a play toy

That hangs from a string

And you’re the cat

That plays with it

But only with half interest

My mind

Is a cardboard box

Full of old photos

And love letters

And old clothes

The memories of us

That you throw lighter fluid on

Every chance you get

My future is a jigsaw puzzle

All the pieces are in front of me

But putting it together

Is proving to be more than I can do

Without a partner

Untitled #2

Untitled #2

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

I know what I want

I will follow my heart to get it

I don’t want a relationship right now

I’m going to spend some time alone

I’m going to focus on me

That’s why I’m going on a date tonight

I know what I want

Your opinion doesn’t matter

Nothing you say or do matters

That’s why it pisses me off

I know what I want

I will follow my heart to get it

I’m not attracted to you

I don’t have any feelings for you

That’s why I’m nervous to see you

That’s why we can’t be friends

I know what I want

I will follow my heart to get it

I want a relationship

I want to be with you

I want to focus on us

I want to salvage what we had

That’s why I’m dating someone else

I know what I want

I am strong

That’s why I gave up on us

I know what I want

I will follow my heart to get it

I still love you

I miss you

I think about you all the time

That’s why I don’t want to be your muse

I know what I want

I will follow my heart to get it

I want you

I don’t know how to fix us

I can’t wait for you

I know what I want

I will follow my heart to get it

Two Hours Until Sunrise

Two Hours Until Sunrise

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

Two hours until sunrise

Snow on the ground

An almost flat tire

Search for an hour

While moving South

$1 for air

The long open road before me

My future may be awaiting me at the end of it

Speculation

Assumption

You are not the reason for this

No one believes that

Not even you

Do I believe it?

Doubt

Hugs and smiles and jokes

Bombshells being dropped

Surprise is something I don’t feel though

Elvis, Mexican food, a stolen bottle of wine

Combined with a great conversation

Creates the perfect mix for a great first night

I could get use to it

Opinions and theories become more concrete

As well as more fragile

As they dance

Hand in hand on the edge of forever

With the hopes and dreams

Of what this represents

A day spent searching for answers

That are easy to find

A perfect time to end this journey

Misrepresentation of hurt feelings and wants

One more night won’t hurt

One more smiling face I want to see

An ear splitting squeal

Leads to a high five

Which leads to a Kung Fu kick

To the shin

With a snow boot

That leads to a hug

A night of nostalgia

That isn’t as good as it could be

Because of comments made about memories

That need to die

A sleepless night in a comfortable place

Followed by an artfully productive morning

With glitter in the coffee

A walk with tourists

Hunting for boots

Coffee on the sidewalk

I Love You So Much

Unintentionally hitting buttons with curious questions

Then it’s off to watch a ghost get ready to dance

Tacos with taste and other contradictions

While waiting for the talent to arrive

Keep it in the tin with no salt

Then it’s convoy to a parking space that costs $5

A trip that starts the mind racing

About a game being played

That is quickly squashed

Brief interactions with strangers

That take no effort

But have a feeling of Déjà vu

Then more infuriating questions

While talking about Jimi and his Thing

The breaking point is reached

A worn out welcome

Words spoken in anger

With no heart or thought behind them

A sleepless night moving North

Where the temps getting colder

Just like two hearts

Just Saying Hello

Just Saying Hello

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

Ten months is a long time

You haven’t changed

You still look fantastic

I’m doing well

I suppose

I heard about your grandmother

My condolences

She was sweet and I liked her

I always thought she liked me too

How’s the kiddo?

That’s great

She’s getting so big

I miss the little monkey

I guess she’s not so little anymore

I heard you and your boyfriend broke up

I’m sorry

How’s the single life treating you?

Oh

You’re already dating someone?

That’s cool

Me?

I’m still single

You heard about her?

She was crazy

Literally

Therapy and medication crazy

I don’t want a relationship

Why not?

The pain of not realizing your dream of a family

Hurts a lot less

Than the pain of thinking you found someone

Who shares that dream with you

Just to watch it fall apart

You’re sorry?

For what?

It happens

It’s how I felt before you

Oh

Sure
I’ll see you around