I Never Thought...

I Never Thought…

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

I never thought about it before

Then I saw you in my apartment

I knew I had my answer

I never thought about it before

It wasn’t meant to be this way

We made our plans

Life is what happens along the way

Life is what happens when you’re making other plans

A plan is a list of things that doesn’t happen

You know

I know

I didn’t want this

I didn’t want to connect

I did want to connect

I didn’t want to get involved

I did want to get involved

This is what life is

Is this what life is?

This is why we’re here

Is this why we’re here?

We connect

We disconnect

We build

We destroy

Are we meant to be alone?

Am I?

Are you?

They say the most damaged heart can be mended

I never thought about it before

Will I manage to forget what happened?

Will you?

When there are no mirrors to remind me

When there are no people to remind me

When my mom makes me laugh

These are the moments,

The moments when I have hope

These are the moments,

The moments that make the pain bearable

I try to find these moments where I can

It’s like searching for the perfect Cherry Blossom bloom

It’s not a wasted endeavor

I try to hang onto them

It’s like flying a kite in a hurricane

It’s fleeting

I remember being filled with so much hate,

Enough hate to set the whole world on fire

I never thought about it before

Have I made progress?

Have you?

Have we?

What is “progress”?

I never thought about it before

Can You Hear Me Now?

Can You Hear Me Now?

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

If I stand still, will you hear me?

You know I like to pace

Maybe a tower is down

I’ll write it in a letter instead,

But I can’t afford a postage stamp

How can you hear me?

Maybe if I go native I can send you smoke signals

I’m trying to hear you

Your words are confused by the words of others

Lost in the static of a bad connection

I need to pay my phone bill

Maybe write a text

Text a text?

Write me an e-mail with the brightest colors of your soul

I’ll check next week when my Wi-Fi is back on

It’s not that I don’t want to read it

I’m just poor

I’m out of gas in everyway

Meet me in the middle of nowhere

Just name the time

Face to face and voice to voice

I’ll check the batteries in my hearing aides

Make sure you do the same

Will you hear me then?

Can you hear me now?

Untitled #5

Untitled #5

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

You weren't listening close enough when he whispered that to your heart
Too distracted with white noise from the rest of the world
The worker bees are buzzing and you are falling in line
The Grand Canyon grows between you
Artificial turf and blacktop that creates heat waves
Too far to jump and your silk wings are wilted
If only you could have heard his heart murmur
The view would be from the top instead of the back
But the top is too sharp and the back is getting crowded
Can you make it around the Deadman's Curve?
Drive or fly or ride
How strong are you?
Maybe a new set of hearing aids shaped like pacemakers
Maybe a new set of eyes shaped like stars
Decisions, decisions and the clock is ticking like a time bomb
Stretch, reach, dive for it
Before the oasis completely disappears