I Never Thought...

I Never Thought…

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

I never thought about it before

Then I saw you in my apartment

I knew I had my answer

I never thought about it before

It wasn’t meant to be this way

We made our plans

Life is what happens along the way

Life is what happens when you’re making other plans

A plan is a list of things that doesn’t happen

You know

I know

I didn’t want this

I didn’t want to connect

I did want to connect

I didn’t want to get involved

I did want to get involved

This is what life is

Is this what life is?

This is why we’re here

Is this why we’re here?

We connect

We disconnect

We build

We destroy

Are we meant to be alone?

Am I?

Are you?

They say the most damaged heart can be mended

I never thought about it before

Will I manage to forget what happened?

Will you?

When there are no mirrors to remind me

When there are no people to remind me

When my mom makes me laugh

These are the moments,

The moments when I have hope

These are the moments,

The moments that make the pain bearable

I try to find these moments where I can

It’s like searching for the perfect Cherry Blossom bloom

It’s not a wasted endeavor

I try to hang onto them

It’s like flying a kite in a hurricane

It’s fleeting

I remember being filled with so much hate,

Enough hate to set the whole world on fire

I never thought about it before

Have I made progress?

Have you?

Have we?

What is “progress”?

I never thought about it before