You Cut Me Deep

You Cut Me Deep

By

Nathan Caleb Camerer

Are you happy when you wake up?

I thought I was dreaming.

It’s been said that every word a writer writes,

Even the commas, are a reflection of him or her

They write to express their vision

I have a vision

I have a vision of you waiting for me

The still waters of the water under a frond of stars

The still water of your mouth under a thicket of kisses

The still waters of the water under a frond of stars

The still water of your mouth under a thicket of kisses

Under a thicket of your kisses I was born into love

Why did you lie to me?

I want to do with you what Spring does with the Cherry Trees

I’m a poet of love, maybe

I’m a poet of constantly being inadequate

A lovelorn man who is sick in my soul

This busy human heart is weary

Worshipping the spirit of unconscious life

Living in a tree of wildflowers

I’m a gentle lunatic

What am I going to do?

What can I do?

There’s nothing I can do

I can’t do anything to make you feel my love

I want you to come here and let me love you

If loving you is wrong, then I don’t want to be right

I won’t be right

I’ll never be right in your eyes

I go over it again in my head

I know I shouldn’t

Show me your love

Come to me

Show me you want me

Funny images flash across the sky

Images from the past

I saw something once, in your eyes

I knew something about you, once

My brain is practically exploding

Midway along the journey of my life,

I awake to find myself in a dark wood

I have wandered off the straight path

Desire is misleading

Will you help my carry my burdens?

I’ll never stop trying to help you with yours

I think I’ll take a sleeping pill

I think I’ll take two

It’s so noisy behind my eyes that I can’t sleep

I have to move, but I can’t

My legs won’t work

I imagine that when you see me you’ll realize that you’re in love with me

I know that one thing will lead to another

We will have a love child or two

We will get married

You’ve killed me

Since you’ve left, I’ve just gone crazy with grief

I can’t understand it

I can’t believe it

I want to get married once

I want to get married for my mom

Is a wife too much to ask for?

I came here to look for you

I don’t sleep at night

I’m alone

Are you alone?

I enjoy it every time I get to talk to you

I need to apologize

That one night I was drunk

That one night I was out of line

I know you got the wrong idea

Do you have a good memory?

What are your memories of me?

Are they good?

I’m beginning to think my memory isn’t very reliable

How long do you think a woman needs to know a guy,

Before she’ll get engaged to him?

How long do you suppose that should take?

What’s the shortest amount of time?

I think it should take longer than it takes to have an orgasm,

But I suppose about a half hour is long enough

Let’s start with a kiss

Let’s see if we are good kissers

I know we’ve already kissed

Would you get engaged to me?

I know it’s complicated

I don’t have any money

I don’t have an apartment

I don’t have a house

I’ll tell you the truth, though

Always

Do you ever tell the truth?

Where are you going?

Can I give you a ride home?

Something is wrong

How did you get inside my mind?

How did you get in so deep?

I took a shower to try and wash you off me

You’ve permeated my pores

You’re a part of me

I check my messages all the time

Why am I thinking of you?

I must be out of my mind

When I think back on the course of our passion,

I was a like a blind man and unafraid of the dark

I hate to drink alone, but I am alone

Are you alone?

I failed you

I failed to take advantage of the situation

I want to know what happened

I want to know if it was quick

Was it like a switch you turned off?

How did you stop loving me so quick?

I don’t think knowing will make a difference

I feel like I’ve been thinking about you my whole life

I’m wrong

I’ll always be wrong

There’s something I need to know about you,

But I don’t want to know it yet

Sometimes it helps to just sit in the blackness,

Wonder how you got into me

Where did you get the key?

I didn’t want to do this

I don’t like it

I didn’t want to do this

I feel like I’m still drunk

Stumbling thru my days in a fog

Tripping on my thoughts

What do you want?

Did you want to let me go?

Why did you let me go?

Have you been looking to mess with me since day one?

Do you know me?

I’m not good at this

You cut me deep

Did you want me to go?

Did you want me to stay?

You must have wanted something from me

You’re smarter than me

I’m trying to keep up

I’m scared of what I want

It’s not a lot, is it?

I guess that’s the problem with women

I never satisfied you

I’m sorry for that

I didn’t do anything right

I’m sorry you feel the way you do about me

My problem might be that you’re exhausting

I was doing fine before I met you

I was doing just fine

Maybe I’m obsessed

Maybe I’m possessed

You’re so beautiful

If I keep looking at then maybe I can quit making mistakes

Are the answers to my questions written on your expression?

How can you be so cold?

Don’t cry

Don’t cry

Don’t cry

I’m not worth a single tear

Have you ever been in love with me?

I met a girl

I’ve been thinking about her my whole life

I’ve been dreaming about her

She doesn’t love me though

All women want to be loved, right?

What about you?

Don’t you want love?

Don’t you want to be kissed like it will last forever?

I think you want it so bad that it hurts

It might be the only thing I’ll ever get right

Will you marry me?

Will you put down the knife you cut my heart out with?

You cut me deep